I'm getting a bit more anxious as the date for seeing the liver doctor approaches.
I am a little nervous about the process, but mostly, I just want it to start already.
I'm starting to feel like a fool saying "no" to the people that are asking me to do theater projects when I'm perfectly capable of doing them now. I'm also getting antsy about wanting to DO the things I've always done. I want to take a class or do a play or start dance classes or well, fill in the blank. Money issues aside, I know that I won't have the energy or focus to keep them up once this all starts, so it's made me a bit crazy in the moment. Granted, that's not difficult to do, as I tend to live in the "crazy" part of my head. However, I am trying to find more of the serenity in myself.
I saw Dr. Moe (my regular HIV doctor) on January 6, and she set me up with yet another blood pressure medication. This blood pressure issue really is starting to piss me off, honestly. After taking it for a week, my blood pressure was 170/80 this morning. WTF? So, I ordered some yoga DVD's and a yoga mat, today. Hopefully, doing that every day will help the blood pressure issue. The thing that attracted me to the DVD I ordered was that it had shorter and longer sessions on it, and sometimes 10 minutes is enough, you know? I'm also going to turn my attention to my diet. Time to get back on that horse. Eating properly is more expensive and requires more attention, but it's gotta be done. I'm important enough. I won't even apologize for that. I'm important.
Telapravir is the third medication of the combo they want to put me on for the Hep C. It was supposed to be out in December, but is still not out. I've pretty much decided that if it's not out by the time I see the liver doctor on February 1, I will just go on the ribavarin and interferon and hope for the best. That's the standard treatment at the moment, anyway. Dr. Moe told me that there is only a 1 in 5 chance of it working, given my HIV status, but I can't continually put my life on hold while the FDA gets its head out of its ass, and there is no guarantee my insurance will cover it even if they do. So, onward and upward, and we'll see what Dr. Durazo says. Dr. Moe said that if after three months, there is not enough improvement, we'll discontinue the treatment and wait for Telapravir.
Today I had some blood drawn, hopefully just in time for Dr. Durazo to get it on the first.
I'm having a hard time sleeping these days. Mostly from anxiety, I guess. My therapist tells me I'm too sensitive to things. It's true.
On the artistic side of things, I'm almost finished with a quilt that I've been working on for over a decade. Considering the fact that I promised it to a dear friend of mine for her wedding, five+ years ago, it's about time. I've been working on it like a mad man. I can't feel the tips of my fingers from all the times I've pricked them.
In other news, I'm going in to have more work done on my tattoo this weekend. I might post some pictures if I'm brave enough, but since it covers from the bottom of my thigh all the way up to the back of my butt cheek, I might just leave it all to your imagination. :)