Yesterday, I performed my last show as Scrooge in an adaptation of Dickens A Christmas Carol. It was a fascinating show. The director's idea was that Scrooge was dealing with his repressed homosexuality, and that he was in love with Jacob Marley. Apparently I inspired the director to tell that story. I certainly don't repress my homosexuality, but I did a cabaret at the beginning of the year to celebrate my 42nd birthday and the 20th anniversary of my HIV diagnosis. I told lots of personal stories, sang some songs and had some fun. Rene (the director) thought that although it was very funny and well-done, it was on the bitter side, and apparently that's not his experience of me. So, that's kinda cool (although I'm more bitter on the inside than one would think). It's nice to inspire somebody else in their art, especially before one is dead. hahahaha.
In my personal journey, this was quite a step forward. I really thought I did some great work, and pushed over some emotional blocks in my acting. I also learned that I can do full-out truthful emotional performances pretty much every night. I have always been worried about that, and until this show, hadn't done too well at it. It was always a bit hit or miss. Except for a couple of performances, I pretty much hit my mark every night (and rehearsals too). So, yay me!
I'll be glad to tuck some of my personal emotions back into the private side of my heart for a while though. All that crying got to be a bit of a burden, and letting the sadness in your soul out for the light of day to witness it can be scary.
Now, onward to the next part of the "Year of Creative Healing."