Thursday, June 30, 2011

Having a hard time today ...

As of today, I'm halfway through the original treatment time period.

Of course, I still don't know whether the Hep C viral load is undetectable or not.  I won't know for another week and a half.  If it's not undetectable, there is still the possibility that instead of 6 months, I could be on these meds for 18 months.  18 months is going to be a difficult slog, both physically and financially.  However, I'm doing my best not to get caught up too much in what the future is like.

Honestly, today is hard enough.  I'm tired, working without backup at my job with several big projects coming due, and I was also informed that the theater company I work with needs volunteers to take down and build a set this weekend.

Fortunately, it's a three day weekend, but honestly, I was hoping to get my own house cleaned up this weekend, and still get some rest.  Going home and collapsing on the couch from exhaustion after work doesn't contribute to a lot of dusting and cleaning, and my place is an absolute wreck.  Again.  How did that happen so quickly?

In predictable news, the cats haven't offered to fill in the house-cleaning slack.

I also had a somewhat depressing conversation with somebody last night that left me reeling.

I'm not used to not having enough energy to do all the things I need and want during the day, and I guess that's the biggest drawback of this medication right now.

I've taken on some new duties at work, which I'm actually excited about, but sometimes my perfectionism steps in and I think I should be learning everything much more quickly, and I start to feel bad about myself.

The cherry on the top is that I'm putting on weight, and I feel like my belly is distended all the time and that my arms and legs look like sticks, which doesn't help my issues with feeling ugly.  It actually makes me kinda wanna hide in a closet somewhere.

This is all a long way of me saying that I'm feeling a bit down today, but given my predeliction for bouncing back, I imagine I'll be fine in a bit.

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