Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Tired is the new good ...

... or is it "Good is the new tired?

I've been on these meds for about 2 1/2 months now, and everytime somebody asks me how I'm doing, I say, "I'm good, just a bit tired."  It occurred to me the other day that just shortening it to "I'm good" would be better.

I'm not a big guy for sharing every detail of how I'm feeling with other folks, especially when it comes to describing my physical state.  Honestly, many people don't care or don't know how to handle my personal trials and tribulations or want to.  There are of course folks that do care and are willing to listen, but I often feel like I'm taking advantage of their kindness by blabbing about myself, so I try to keep it to a minimum.  There's of course, a truth that I'm afraid of being vulnerable with most people.  I guess that tops the list as to why I'm single.  hahaha.

On the other hand, I'm also a guy that strives towards honesty with others.  I'm always torn between telling the absolute truth when somebody asks me how I'm doing, and the socially acceptable answer, "I'm good!"  So, I tend to land somewhere in the middle.  Hence the, by now, stock answer of "I'm good, just a bit tired."

The fact of the matter is that I'm going to be tired until this treatment is over.  The fatigue is constant and, for the most part, bearable.  Telling other people that I'm tired doesn't serve a purpose, except to expose a bit of my natural flair for the dramatic, and my neurotic need for attention.  I detest the part of me that craves attention.  Guess that's one of the reasons I'm an actor; it gives me something of an outlet for that part of me.

From now on, I'm going to do my best to just say, "I'm good" whenever anybody asks me how I'm doing, and leave the rest of it out, unless I'm lying in the hospital hooked up to an IV, and then you can all expect that I will be indulging both my natural flair for the dramatic and that neurotic need for attention.

No comments:

Post a Comment