Medical update ...

I might have to be on this treatment for 72 weeks ... a year and a half.

I didn't know this.

Right now I'm only scheduled to be on treatement for 24 weeks.

I'm almost at the two month marker since I started this treatment.  Mostly, I'm handling it pretty well.  There was a concern about my red and white blood cell counts, but they're just a little bit low, not a whole bunch.  One doctor had prescribed Procrit for me (which is expensive and would require me to self-inject another time once a week ... I'm getting a tad bit tired of needles ... my left thigh looks like a junkie's nightmare).  But both doctors ultimately decided that I didn't need it.  Thank goodness.  I don't quite now how to go about getting all that pre-authorization for medication done.  It's easier when the doctor's office spearheads it.

Next month, the results of the blood tests will decide whether I go for just 6 months.  The key test is the Hep C viral load.  According to blood test paperwork, in February it was 1.3 million.  Then it went down to 74,000 a month ago then down again to 34,000 a week ago, then back up to 61,000 this week.  If you can remember back to high school math, you'll know what logs are.  They measure progress by the reduction of logs.  So, there is a difference between 64,000 and 640,000 and 6,400,000, but very little difference between 64,000 and 31,000, if that makes any sense.

The goal is for the viral load to be undetectable by the next time my blood is drawn in 4 weeks.  If it is undetectable, I have a really, really good chance of being "cured."  If it is not, my chances are much less.  However, the doctor said that there are a couple of papers out that indicate that slow responders sometimes do manage to be "cured" if they go for 72 weeks.  He basically said that we'll see what happens next month, and make a decision.  Apparently, some people give up if they're not at undetectable in three months.  Knowing me, I'll probably sign up for the 72 weeks.  Because I'm stubborn.

Having said that, damn, that's a long time to feel like you have the flu, not to mention many of the other side effects.  One of these days I'm going to upload my notes on the 45 minutes of conversation that I had with the teaching nurse about possible side effects.  Some of them are not attractive, to say the least.

However, despite being a little bit scared and a little somber today, I'm keeping my chin up, my hopes high, and putting one foot in front of the other, and doing my damndest to take life one day at a time, and of course, being sure to take the occasional swim in my pool and time to cuddle with my cats.

Good news!

The treatment is working!  Woohoo!

I went to see my liver doctor yesterday, and he told me the results of my last round of blood tests, taken a week ago.

The most exciting news is that the viral load of the Hep C virus was at 2.5 million, and it is now 75,000.  They hope that within the first four weeks the viral load comes down two logs.  In other words from 2,500,000 to 25,000.  Mathematically, there is not much difference from 75,000 and 25,000.  What this means is that I am indeed responding to treatment.

Yay!

From looking at my test results, my white and red blood cell counts are a little low, but not more than they were before treatment started, so I guess he's not worried about it.  :)

Now, onward and upward!

Day #1 ...

I had an appointment with a very nice nurse named Val at UCLA last night, and she filled me in on how to administer my injections, and also about side effects and how to counteract them, etc.  Then I did my first injection.

This morning I woke up feeling a bit like I had been hit by a truck.  Achy and tired.  Then I took the other medication with breakfast while at work, and I felt like I was speeding for a bit.  Now, I'm crashing again.  LOL.

It's going to be a fun 6 months!!  September 30 is the last day!!

Spring is here ...

I love when spring comes around.

Buds coming in on the potted peach tree on my patio.

New growth at the bottom of the peach tree.

The fresh leaves on my ficus tree.

An early rose.

Fresh growth of rose leaves and the faintest signs of rose buds.

Leaves are finally growing back on the tree that was brutally

trimmed this winter off my front upstairs balcony.

Another view.

HAPPY SPRING EVERYBODY!!



Finally ...

One of the two liver meds was delivered today.  The second one will be delivered on Tuesday.   I have an appointment on Thursday evening to get trained on how to administer the injectable drug.  And the six month count-down begins.

Finally.

Nervous ...

I got a call from the pharmacy that my liver doctor had referred my meds to.  They can only fill one of the prescriptions, the other needs to be filled by my insurance company's contracted pharmacy.  I was given their number and told to call them and set up a delivery.  I did call them, but they are still waiting for final authorization from the insurance company, which should be forthcoming in the next day or so.  Then we'll have a conversation about delivery and co-pay, etc.

Right now, for some reason, I'm more nervous about this than I have been so far.  Feels like efalumps are running around in my stomach.

Meds update ...

I started the new HIV meds and the generic form of Prozac this weekend.  So far no noticeable side effects, thank goodness.  Keeping my fingers crossed that there won't be any.

I also just got a call from UCLA, and the pharmacy that will be handling the meds for the Hep C should be contacting me in the next day or two about getting my first month's supply delivered.  They are just waiting for final authorization from the insurance company.  As soon as I receive the meds, I have to set an appointment with a nurse at UCLA to teach me how to administer the interferon, and then the six months of treatment finally start.

Finally.

My first full-sized quilt ... photos

Here are some photos (unfortunately, not of the best quality) of the first full-sized quilt I ever finished.  It took me a LONG time to do (as in over a decade), but I was very happy with it when I finished.

It's called a "jumble quilt" and I didn't do all the work on the top part, lots of people helped, but I did a good portion of it, and I did all the quilt stitching and seam binding:

Here's a picture of one of the corners that shows the seam binding on the front:

Here's a shot of a corner showing the seam binding on the back along with the back stitching:

Here's a shot of the back of the quilt (folded in half) ... gives you an idea of the flavor of it:

And one more shot of the whole thing:

Beautiful photography ...

In my blog travels, I ran across this photographer, who has some really beautiful pictures that I'd love to have on my walls in my house.  His website is a bit strange, so I've put the link that shows his "new work."  There's a lovely picture of two men lovingly embracing in a sauna that really speaks to my heart.

http://www.johnarsenaultphotography.com/?page_id=5

Update ... reach around ... wankage ... whatever. ;)

I'm still waiting for the Hep C medication to be pre-authorized by my insurance company.  The delay seems to be coming from some misplaced blood test result.  So, I keep calling the doctor's office.  Oy.  Can't WAIT 'til this thing gets started, as I'm a little fried from the anticipation.

I went to visit my parents this weekend.  My mom's going through some medical stuff herself, and although I've been talking to her fairly regularly and know what's going on, I was a bit freaked out by how it was affecting her.  I went to say goodbye to her on Sunday, and gave her a long hug, and almost broke down in tears.  Fortunately, I covered and she didn't notice.

My father is going to be taking a week long trip to visit his brother (who is also ill), and so is arranging for people to stay with my mom.  My sister is the first choice, given that she doesn't have a job, and is very close to my mom.  She asked me if I would help out with some of the time, and I was so freaked out in that moment that I said no.  I spoke to her two days later and apologized for the "no" and had a long conversation about how to make sure she isn't the one who always has to deal with the sitution.  This is when I need to open my heart and be willing to step up to the plate.  Sometimes I worry that I'm not particularly brave when it comes to things that matter.  I guess one has to be conscious and willing to be brave ... it doesn't come naturally, at least not to me.

My sister said that my mom had called after I left and was worried about ME, and that I was too thin, and that I must not be eating.  My father called the next day and also said that I looked unwell.  Not a good shot to my ego.  Especially since my scale is telling me that I'm 217 lbs, which is about 10-12 pounds heavier than my lowest weight.  I asked Michael if I looked unwell, and he just said that I had lost some weight, but that I looked fine.  I think what people are noticing is that I've lost a lot of my muscle mass in my arms, chest, back and legs.

Intellectually, I'd like to go back to the gym, but I just can't seem to muster the energy.  I had started walking again, mostly because my doctor told me to get to exercising to deal with my blood pressure, but my left heel kills me after walking a bit, and I end up limping.  So, I'm at a loss as to what to do.  I could use a work-out partner, but am not sure how to make that happen, given where I live, etc.

The last doctor I saw was my HIV doctor, and this is what came out of that meeting:

1.  She is putting me on a low dosage of Prozac because the interferon, etc. tends to cause depression, and since I kinda battle it anyway, it's not a bad idea.

2.  She cautioned me that I might find myself using again due to the emotional stuff that comes up on treatment.  I was a bit taken back, but rather than defend myself and my sobriety, I merely nodded and listened.  Honestly, I've got 8 years of continuous sobriety under my belt, along with a support system to go to in case of emergency, and using is just not one of my options.  It was very sweet of her to say that if I did find myself using, not to worry, she would still take care of me.

3.  She's taking me off Trizivir for HIV (which contains AZT) because it is contra-indicative to the interferon that I'll be taking.  She's replacing it with two meds, Viread and Epzicom.  Those meds have been ordered from the mail pharmacy (along withe Prozac), and I'm just waiting for them to show up.  They're late, and I'm starting to get worried, but I'll wait 'til Monday, and then call and find out how to deal with missing meds.

*UPDATE*  My meds showed up in the mail today!!  Woohoo!!

4.  She wants me to see her every month while I'm on treatment for Hep C.  So, I'll have two doctors keeping an eye out for me.

5.  My blood pressure was high again.  Rather than throw more pills at me, she asked me to look at my diet and exercise program.  Both are out of whack, so I'll have to figure it out again.  On the food front, buying good quality food is a bit impossible at the moment, given food prices and my general lack of funds, so I've been relying on pastas and lunch meat, etc.  Will have to rectify that very soon.  The target blood pressure is less than 130 over 85.  I'm normally at about 140 over 90.  When I had it taken at the doctor's office, it was 151 over 101.

6.  She suggested that I find out about FMLA, if I need to take some leave from work due to treatment.  I'll have to check it out, but I seem to recall that FMLA only applies for a firm that's got a certain amount of employees, which my firm does not. Plus, me being out of the office for an extended period of time will be detrimental to their business, and the security of my job ... would really rather not do that.  Having said all of that, it would be good to at least know what's out there.

7.  She also suggested a support group at UCLA for Hep C, at least once.  I'll check it out, as soon as I find out the when and what of the nurse practitioner lesson about managing the medication and the side effects.

Alright, end of wankage.

Doctor appointment stuff ...

I just got back from my appointment with the Dr. D (the liver specialist).

-- The liver biopsy showed signs of significant damage, almost cirrhosis, but not quite.  He recommended starting treatment.  Not to be snarky, but I told him a month ago we should treat, and that I'd like to get started NOW.

-- He mentioned a new medication that was coming out, but when I reminded him that he had told me that medication was not used to treat the Hep C genome that I had, he said that we should start with the old-fashioned treatment.

-- This clears the way to start a 24 week course of treatment with pegylated interferon and ribavarin.  (Something about Alpha 2 vs. Alpha 1 ... I didn't know what that meant).  This all could be MUCH worse.  For instance, if I had genome 1, rather than genome 3, I'd have to do a year's course of it.  Ouch.

-- His office will handle the pre-authorization process with my insurance.

-- They will call me to set up another appointment with Dr. D in 8 weeks.

-- About a week and a half before my next appointment with Dr. D, I need to have more blood drawn.

-- As soon as I jump through all the hoops and get the meds, I need to make an appointment with a nurse practitioner at UCLA so she (or he) can show me how to administer the meds, and give me pointers on coping with side-effects, etc.

-- Since AZT is part of my HIV regimen and shouldn't be taken with the Hep C meds I'm going on, I need to make an appointment with Dr. M, (the HIV specialist) to shift my HIV meds around.

Basically it looks like I could be rocking and rolling in 2 weeks to a month.

Liver biopsy done ...

I have decided that if given the opportunity to choose between an upper endoscopy and a liver biopsy, I'll take the upper endoscopy every time.

Liver biopsies?  They tend to hurt. 

Think of it like this.  A very nice nurse gives you just enough sedation to keep you from bitching too loudly, and then a doctor tells you to exhale for ten seconds, while he shoves a knife in your side and removes part of your liver.  Then you're told to breathe normally.

You are then wheeled back to your little curtain-enclosed area, and asked how you're doing.  In answering, I used the term "uncomfortable" while rubbing my shoulder which had inexplicably started to hurt.  The doctor noticed that I was rubbing my shoulder, and said that pain was from my liver as they had to go through my diaphragm to get the liver tissue.  I asked if my liver had moved.  I thought I was joking; he did not.  The doctor said I should take deep breaths.  Easier said than done.

The nurse then brings me some percocet, which eventually allows me to breathe fairly freely.

While grateful that the percocet took away the pain, I wasn't too happy that it knocked me on my proverbial ass for two days.  I ended up calling in sick to work the next day because I just didn't feel comfortable enough to drive.  And then I slept.  And slept.  And slept some more.

I think next time I'll just ask for Extra-Strength Tylenol and grit my teeth and bear it.

Today I find out the results of the biopsy, and then hopefully get this merry go round to start it's next revolution.

Between the doctor appointments, the interminable waiting, financial worries, and my natural insanity, I am not sleeping well, which means I'm sitting here at work today, not having slept more than a couple of hours last night, and trying not to lose my temper over the loud noises and the general stupidity of life, love and the pursuit of happiness, or lack thereof. 

Whew!!!  It's Monday, y'all!

Money, money, money, money, MONEY!

I've got this song stuck in my head with the lyrics "Money, money, money, money, MONEY!"  I can only remember one line of it, and since, let's face it, they lyrics aren't exactly uncommon, I have NO idea what song it is.  It's annoying to have a song running through your head that you can't figure out.  Oh well, I imagine it will occur to me at the oddest of times.

On the subject of money, last night, I got home to find a brochure in the mail from the hepatology department at UCLA with very helpful tips for starting my treatment.  The section that stuck out the most was the bit about finances.

Turns out that the market price for pegylated interferon and ribavarin (the standard treatment) are about $1700 and $1400 respectively ... a month.  They very dutifully warn me that some insurance companies don't cover the medications and that others have a huge co-pay and that I should get my financial house in order if I'm planning on paying for the meds myself.  I pull out my calculator, press a bunch of buttons, and find out that if my insurance doesn't cover the meds, the course of the treatment will run about $28,000 (assuming 9 months of treatment).  Oh. My. Frickin. G-d.

I must admit I panicked for a bit, and I went online to find out my pharmacy coverage.  Of course, that part of Healthnet's website was down for maintenance (that's how I roll).  I went to bed, only to be completely awake 3 hours later obsessing over the whole thing.  I didn't get back to sleep 'til about 4:30.

I got up about 6:45, and went back online to check my coverage.  Turns out self-injectibles (as pegylated interferon is classified as ... I hope) are covered, but I need to pay 20% of the price.  The ribavarin is an oral medication, so my $30 a month co-pay should cover that one.  Which brings the cost for me from a maximum of $3,100 a month to $370 a month.  MUCH more doable.  Still difficult, but doable.  Especially since I don't have the monthly budget to pay for it every month, and will have to rely on savings. Fortunately, I also received my tax returns this morning in my checking account, so I have a couple of thousand dollars to devote to this.  The tax return doesn't cover everything, but it will cover a great deal of it.  Okay, now I'm breathing easier.

I'm going to have to do some fancy footwork toward the end of the year, but in the meantime, I'm going to get through it all.  Oh yes, I am!!  Brief panic aside, I'm incredibly grateful that I have resources to deal with all of this.

I have calls into UCLA to figure out where I go from here, get the pre-authorization stuff rolling and find out when I'm actually going to start getting the meds.  It all should start in the next couple of weeks.  I'm starting to get a little antsy about getting it started, so I'll be closer to getting it ended and back to my old self!

Things I did this weekend

Last weekend was the last three day holiday weekend until Memorial Day at the end of May. 

So, here's what I did:

1.  Auditioned for an AFI film in which my character was a middle-aged schlub who works as a fast food employee and is having an affair with a married woman.

2.  Auditioned for the title role in a short film (paying!) based on Aeschylus play "Agamemnon."

(It really is too bad that my casting is so limited.)

3.  Played a truly scandalous amount of an online game called "Battle of the Immortals."

4.  Made (yes, made) pillows for my truck, so if I need to take a nap, I'll be comfortable.  (I'm thinking about changing my middle name to "Martha.")  Pictures to come soon.

5.  Bought the rest of the fabric and batting for my mother's quilt that I'm hoping to get done this year, if not by the summer. I also cut a bunch of fabric for the same project.  I'm hoping to post some pictures soon.

6.  Cleaned my kitchen (and boy, did it need it).

7.  Did all of the laundry but the towels.

8.  Got the finishing touch-up done on my leg tattoo.  By the way, if you ever want a tattoo done and are in the Los Angeles area, Dave Davenport at Marginalized tattoo is not only an amazing tattoo artist, but is just the sweetest guy, and totally adorable.  Alas, he's already taken.  His dog that keeps him company while he works is also very sweet.  You can check out Dave's stuff at http://www.dogspunk.com/blog/. (some very adult stuff in his blog, just FYI).

9.  Watched Piranha 3d.  Best. Movie. Ever.  I can't remember laughing that much in such a short period of time.  Michael described it as the Citizen Kane of monster fish movies.  He's not far off.

That was interesting

Yesterday Michael, and I trekked to UCLA so I could have an upper endoscopy done.  It wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be, although I'm sure it was fairly boring for him.

We got there extra early because we were afraid of the traffic on the 405 (a freeway I try to avoid 95% of the time, even though I live right next to it).  After the initial scare that we wouldn't be able to find parking in the crowded parking lot, we parked and headed up to the third floor of the 100 UCLA Medical Plaza and popped into the Medical Procedures Unit.  I signed what felt like 8 billion pieces of paper, and then waited for over an hour and a half.  Finally, all the pieces came together, and they called me in.

The best part?  They didn't put me on a scale to find out what my weight was.  They just asked what I weighed.  Yes!!  Also in the good news category, my blood pressure was initially 140/84, which is WAY lower than it is when I check in at my other doctor.  Pat put an one id bracelet on my left wrist and another bracelet that said, "Falling Risk" and http://www.posey.com/.

The check-in nurse, Pat, then left me alone for a bit with the curtains closed, so I could take my shirt and shoes off and put on the attractive patient's robe.  I snuck out to use the bathroom, and when I came back, a very peppy young gentleman by the name of Clarence came in and observed that I wasn't ready to be transported yet.  My IV hadn't been started.  5 minutes later Pat and another nurse came in while Clarence hovered.  A flurry of activity occurred all at the same time.  An IV was started, blood pressure was taken, an oxygen tube was stuck into my nose, and questions were asked.   Many, many questions.  "What are you having done?" (Ummm, don't you know?), "Are you allergic to any medications?" (for the fourth time, just penicillin) "Do you have Hep C?" (Ummm, that's why I'm here) "Are you on a transplant list?" (What??  Why should I be on a transplant list, my liver's not that far gone, should I be on a transplant list?)  They quickly assured me that it was okay, that they were doing this so I wouldn't have to be on a transplant list.  (Whew!!)

Before I knew quite what was happening, everything was set up, and all the tubes connected, and Clarence was wheeling me into another room where Dr. D said hello in that very charming italian accent of his, and shook my hand.  A student doctor named Maya from the University of Massachusetts was introduced, and I was told she would be observing the procedure.  The nurse whose name I don't remember, (I'll call her Winny, just because) must have asked me three times why I was there and what they were going to do.  I think this was more to make sure I understood what was going on, and that they were indeed doing the right test.

Winny then positioned me on my left side and put some support under my right side, and turned the oxygen on.  I actually felt very comfortable.  Then she said that she was going to give me some medication via my IV.  I said okay.  A couple of seconds later, I felt a little dizzy, but fine.  Then she said she was going to give me some more, and I don't remember anything until another nurse woke me up back in the original curtained area by asking me if I would like some apple juice or ginger ail.  Whoa!  I thought I would be semi-conscious, but I could have been sleeping in my own bed at home, I was so out of it.

After a while, I finished my apple juice (which is good, considering I hadn't eaten or drank anything in almost 20 hours), and I was sufficiently alert so that I could get dressed and ready to go.  Pat thought the doctor was going to come in and see me, but it would take some time since he was in a procedure.  I ended up waiting for him by the patient lockers.  She finally said that since my paperwork said the test was normal, she said I could go, and that I was to call him if there were any questions.  She handed me a couple of instructions papers, one of which was a series of pictures of my esophagus, stomach and upper colon and the words "Normal Test" on it.  I have never actually seen that part of my body from that angle, so found the whole thing quite interesting.  It was really brightly lit though.  I'm thinking about framing it.

I ambled out to the lobby, where Michael had fallen asleep, and then went to the parking lot where I paid for the parking ($11.00!!!).  Next on our agenda was FOOD!! and to get his cat from the vet.

Except for a splittling headache about 10:00 p.m., it all went fabulously, and I'm very happy to know that I don't have to worry about any bleeding nodes as I start this whole medication treatment!

Tomorrow is another big day ...

Tomorrow I go in for an upper endoscopy.  Fun, fun, fun!  I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous, but it will be fine.  They're sedating me, and then when it's all over, I'm going to do some serious eating.

On Friday evening, I have an audition for an AFI film, and on Sunday, I have an audition for a short film based on "Agamemnon."  I am auditioning for Agamemnon. I'm kinda excited to be doing some film auditions.  Need to beef up my film repertoir and skills.  I love theater, but it's never going to pay the bills here in Los Angeles, but will help me keep my chops in good working order.

On February 28, I have a liver biopsy scheduled.  Oh yes, that will be fun.  My sister is being a doll and coming in from the Inland Empore to take me to and from the doctor and to keep me company.  After it's all over, there will again be serious eating.  Just sayin'.

Endoscopy ... here we come

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And so it begins ...

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Medical Update ...

I'm getting a bit more anxious as the date for seeing the liver doctor approaches.

I am a little nervous about the process, but mostly, I just want it to start already.
I'm starting to feel like a fool saying "no" to the people that are asking me to do theater projects when I'm perfectly capable of doing them now.  I'm also getting antsy about wanting to DO the things I've always done.  I want to take a class or do a play or start dance classes or well, fill in the blank.  Money issues aside, I know that I won't have the energy or focus to keep them up once this all starts, so it's made me a bit crazy in the moment.  Granted, that's not difficult to do, as I tend to live in the "crazy" part of my head.  However, I am trying to find more of the serenity in myself.

I saw Dr. Moe (my regular HIV doctor) on January 6, and she set me up with yet another blood pressure medication.  This blood pressure issue really is starting to piss me off, honestly.  After taking it for a week, my blood pressure was 170/80 this morning.  WTF?  So, I ordered some yoga DVD's and a yoga mat, today.  Hopefully, doing that every day will help the blood pressure issue.  The thing that attracted me to the DVD I ordered was that it had shorter and longer sessions on it, and sometimes 10 minutes is enough, you know?  I'm also going to turn my attention to my diet.  Time to get back on that horse.  Eating properly is more expensive and requires more attention, but it's gotta be done.  I'm important enough.  I won't even apologize for that.  I'm important.

Telapravir is the third medication of the combo they want to put me on for the Hep C.  It was supposed to be out in December, but is still not out.  I've pretty much decided that if it's not out by the time I see the liver doctor on February 1, I will just go on the ribavarin and interferon and hope for the best.  That's the standard treatment at the moment, anyway.  Dr. Moe told me that there is only a 1 in 5 chance of it working, given my HIV status, but I can't continually put my life on hold while the FDA gets its head out of its ass, and there is no guarantee my insurance will cover it even if they do.  So, onward and upward, and we'll see what Dr. Durazo says.  Dr. Moe said that if after three months, there is not enough improvement, we'll discontinue the treatment and wait for Telapravir.

Today I had some blood drawn, hopefully just in time for Dr. Durazo to get it on the first.

I'm having a hard time sleeping these days.  Mostly from anxiety, I guess.  My therapist tells me I'm too sensitive to things.  It's true.

On the artistic side of things, I'm almost finished with a quilt that I've been working on for over a decade.  Considering the fact that I promised it to a dear friend of mine for her wedding, five+ years ago, it's about time.  I've been working on it like a mad man.  I can't feel the tips of my fingers from all the times I've pricked them.

In other news, I'm going in to have more work done on my tattoo this weekend.  I might post some pictures if I'm brave enough, but since it covers from the bottom of my thigh all the way up to the back of my butt cheek, I might just leave it all to your imagination.  :)

Working through something ...

Morning,

First of all, I hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas, and if you don't celebrate Christmas, that you had an amazing day off. :)

A couple of days ago on Facebook, a friend of mine posted the following 80's video of a song called "Do They Know It's Christmas" from "Band-Aid."

For those of you who are too young to remember, Band-Aid was basically the UK version of "We Are The World."  A bunch of pop musicians coming together to sing a song, the proceeds of which benefited the hungry in Africa.  I've always been a fan of the song, and, honestly, I'm a bit of a sucker for stuff like this.

One of the commenters to my friend's posting said that she hated this song, and called it the "absolute height of pompous idiocy."  I don't think I was prepared for such vitriol, and responded back, "Pompous idiocy? A bunch of very famous British musicians getting together to do something about hunger in Africa is pompous and idiotic? Wow, maybe I need to rethink my world view."

Her response:

Well, yes, it is. "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.." ??Gee, could that be because they're in a tropical monsoon climate? Yes, all people who live in tropical climates must be so terribly bad off. "Do they know it's Chri...stmas time at all?" Gee, if Bob had done his homework he'd know that over 60% of Ethiopians are Christian. I'm pretty sure they know it's Christmas. The bulk of the other 40% is made up of Muslims so they probably know it's Christmas but don't give a shit. The sad fact is, much of the aid raised to help those who were in such need probably got siphoned off into the corrupt government and never got to those who it was meant to help. I'm all for helping if people need help but the lyrics to this song were pompous, arrogant and presumptious and the money raised did little to nothing to help those who needed it. Twenty plus years on and there are still people starving in Africa and going without much needed medical care and basic supplies and why is that? Look to their governments for starters and how their corrupt mindset has trickled down to the people. My sister in law just spent two years in Malawi working for VSO. The stories she told about the Malawi people were enough to curl one's hair. African nations have lots of problems, but putting out silly songs and then handing the money to a corrupt government doesn't strike me as helping anyone.

Now, this strikes me as the tiniest bit racist, and although she points to nothing but suppositions and hearsay to support her arguments, I'll work with the supposition that she's correct, and most of the money didn't get to the people it was intended for.

First of all, does nobody understand symbolism anymore?  Of course there's no snow in Africa at Christmastime.  Hell, there's no snow in most parts of Southern California either, but that doesn't mean I don't understand that the targeted audience for this song is not the African countries, but the European and North American areas of the world, and that the lyrics will resonate with the target audience.  In this song, not having snow is a symbol for not having enough food or worldy comforts to have a joyous Christmas.  A faulty symbol?  Sure.  However, if one is trying to get people to contribute to a cause, one is going to need to use symbols that those people have experience with.  Yes, it's true, a good portion of people in Africa don't celebrate Christmas, but that doesn't mean the idea of sharing with neighbors, either world-wide or city-wide doesn't exist in their world view, and that doesn't suddenly make the poor people less hungry.

Secondly, making the assumption that almost all of the money got siphoned off by corrupt governments as a matter of course is a bit cynical at the least.  Especially since she points to no actual facts, just prejudicial assumptions, and a few stories of her sister-in-law who was apparently in Malawi.  Malawi, which is just one African country, and that same sister-in-law couldn't have experienced the entire or even a large part of the country given the short period of time she spent there.  So, her anecdotal stories, taken as truth for an entire continent are suspect.

But let's put the prejudice issue aside, shall we?  The issue I'm trying to work through is this, "Isn't the fact that all these people got together to do something about a problem worth anything?"  Even if they didn't do it in the most efficient manner?  Even if mistakes were made and perhaps, as the responder suggested, there were some christian- and european-centric points of view utilized?  Does this effort deserve that type of vitriol and negativity?

My conclusion is no, it does not.  Yes, we should be more sensitive to other cultures and religions.  Yes, sometimes the best of intentions don't solve a problem.  But does that mean we shouldn't try?  No, it does not.  Was one video expected to solve all the starvation issues in Africa?  I doubt anybody was so clueless as to expect such an outcome.  Poverty in Africa (and around the world) is an ongoing problem, and will always be an issue, given how survival and economics work.  However, I'm convinced that even though poverty and hunger are always going to be a problem, we should still reach out to make the world a better place, and I honestly think that's what "Band-Aid" tried to do, and my hat is off to them for it, even 20 years later.

These musicians and song-writers may not have been as successful in accomplishing what they wanted to accomplish, especially in the above-responders' view, but dammit, they did something, and if we're still playing this video 20 years later and thinking about the issues they sing about, then perhaps they did a whole lot of good, above and beyond whatever amount of people they helped to feed in the 80's.

Perhaps it's the holidays, but I'm so tired of the rampant cynicism in the world, especially toward art.  Can we please applaud the efforts of people to make the world a better place rather than trying to tear people down about it, and maybe we'll be able to make those efforts more effective, rather than just do our best to stop all efforts in their tracks.

Travis